#2020Matters | Debate #1 Was a Glimpse of an Abuser

Regardless of the type of relationship (e.g. romantic, familial, friend, work), if you have ever disagreed or argued with a narcissist, you know exactly what you witnessed tonight.

You may have recognized it off the bat or it may have slowly dawned on you after the shock and headache went away.

All those familiar, telltale qualities of a textbook narcissit, someone who is:

• not answering questions
• not taking responsibility
• blaming you for things that they did
• twisting your words
• distorting facts
• trying to get you to go off track and “lose your place” in the argument
• changing the subject so you can’t stay on topic
• talking, and often shouting, over you
• not listening
• causing you to get worked up when you swore you would keep it together

What we witnessed tonight was true narcissism in action, which, in extremes, translates to abuse of all kinds. What we witnessed tonight was an abuser. Abusers are weak. Abusers idolize other abusers (aka dictators). Abusers align themselves with other abusers (aka hate groups).

People like this make you think that you don’t have a choice. They leave you so exhausted that you don’t have the energy to move, so you give up. They leave you feeling hopeless. They want you to leave the ring and never come back.

Tonight was just a glimpse. But it was also a reminder to band together, to stay on course and to change lanes before we crash.

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