Self Care Beyond the Spa
A friend of mine once introduced me to someone and said, “Kamna is the queen of self-care. She loves going to the spa.”
It’s true. I do love going to the spa. But that’s not what got me the crown.
Contrary to slogans the wellness industry and luxury brands use to sell us products and experiences, self care is about more than pampering or treating yourself, it’s about tuning into what you need and changing situations or how you handle situations, accordingly.
Young athletes like Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles have done exactly this, and in doing so, given the world a masterclass in self care. There are plenty of articles and analysis about Biles’ decision this week and Osaka’s just a few months ago.
It may be because I have a disability and chronic health condition, but I have been working on the practice of self care for decades now. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way.
Self care is not a post-stress activity. Work hard, play hard. No pain, no gain. It’s celebrated mantras like these which have us believing that pushing ourselves to the limit is perfectly healthy, because we can always reward ourselves later. A meditation retreat for the overworked professional or party weekend with the girls for an overextended mom only go so far and lead us into the same situation six months later.
Learn to take care of yourself during a situation so that you’re not so desperate to refuel, recharge or refresh afterward.
Critics can’t hurt you if you see them coming. If you make decisions to go against the norm or do something differently because you know its right for you, it’s likely that there will be people or entire institutions that do not understand or support you. (Think about what Naomi Osaka faced from the French Open organizers.) This type of reaction may hurt or even make you angry, and that’s okay. The most important thing is to go in with your eyes wide open and so confident in your decision that the critics voices turn into background noise.
Authenticity will inspire. At a time in my life when I was stretched with work and personal life and running the risk of being tired all the time, I made up a rule to help me manage my overbooked social life. I would only book myself one weekend day, leaving the other one open to do whatever I pleased with or without whomever I wanted. I began sharing this with friends and before I knew it a few of them adopted the same practice. It would have been easy enough to just start making excuses to get out of social situationa, but by being direct, transparent and a bit vulnerable, I ended up helping others while taking care of myself. You never know who you’ll inspire, so be honest, even if you feel a bit self-conscious about what you need to do for yourself.
Self care is not an instant recipe. It’s a slow cooked meal. Take the time to define and adopt what you need, and be gentle with yourself throughout. And, oh yeah, a trip to the spa to work it all out is okay too!
Ready to commit to self care but need a coach to support you along the way? Set a free consultation by visiting www.coachkamna.com.
